How can Irish people tell when it’s summer?
The rain gets warmer.
A Texan rancher comes to Ireland and meets a
Kerry farmer. The Texan says, “Takes me a whole
day to drive from one side of my ranch to the
other.” The Kerry farmer says, “Ah sure, I know, sir.
We have tractors like that over here too.”
What do you call a fake Irish stone?
Paddy says to Mary, “If you were stranded on a
desert island, who’d you most like to be with you?”
“My uncle Mick,” replies Paddy.
“What’s so special about him?” asks Mary.
“He’s got a boat,” says Paddy.
The barman says to Paddy, “Your glass is empty,
fancy another one?” Looking puzzled, Paddy says,
“Why would I be needing two empty glasses?”
Paddy went to the doctor today and said, “Do you
The doctor replied, “Of course we do.”
Paddy said, “Great, get your coat on, I’m thirsty.”
Why can’t you borrow money from a
‘Cause they’re always a little short.
I went out drinking on St. Patrick’s Day and ended
up taking a bus home. That may not be a big deal
to you, but I've never driven a bus before.”
Irish you a Happy St. Patrick's Day!